Trivia Night!!!

Twenty - two years of Fall Sundays on the couch, staying up too late watching movies, and going through the “Useless Facts” app while on the toilet have let me to this moment – Trivia Night.

I have a new favorite bar in Cuenca. Well, I have another favorite bar in Cuenca. The Inca Lounge is a bar overlooking the river that borders downtown and sports the best burger I have had outside of Ted’s Montana Grill. The thing is massive. Some people have naturally smaller mouths than other people. This burger is off limits to them. Fortunately they do offer a smaller portion for the small-mouthed-burger-eaters. But it’s not the same experience.

The Inca Lounge arrived on my radar because the American owner wanted to have a place where he could watch football. Now every week, on the Sabbath, the gringos of Cuenca gather to get drunk and yell at TVs for the sake of their fantasy teams (Damn you Tom Brady!!!) and their doomed existence in their suicide pools.

However, in addition to football, beer, and burgers (They call that the Trifecta) the Inca Lounge also has Trivia Night.

Matt had gone before but this was my first time. Forming a trivia team is really all about variety. Obviously in a fantasy draft you don’t draft Tom Brady AND Drew Brees – they play the same position and fulfill the same function on a team. So Tuesday night we brought in the new Trifecta of Matt (Managed an NPO in the Vail Valley, Head of Town Counsel), Richard (Owned a Business Consulting Company, Wrote an Autobiography, Canadian) and me (Bartender, Reigning Fantasy Football Champion, 22). Our team featured smart people from different generations and a kid with enough time on his hands to actually play 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon with IMDb.com (the “Ocean’s” movies made this game kind of a cakewalk and then Valentine’s Day crushed any hope for respectability for the next 15 years).

The game was six rounds and ten questions per round with each round having a category and each answer was worth a point, except the last which was worth two. Pretty basic.

Coming on September 13th, the first round was questions about events that happened on the date September 11th in any year.

Started off showing my value to the team – PETE ROSE broke the MLB all-time hits record on September 11th 1985. Sports fans out there get this one easily but this is Trivia Night in Cuenca, Ecuador. There are lots of, shall we say, “vegetarians.”

We got the question about the Camp David Accords and another about the 1979 Chilean coup d'état but otherwise got our butts kicked. We would have gotten one about breaking ground on the Lincoln Memorial in 1941 if it weren’t for some poor wording. Definitely not on us.

Good news was everyone else got their butts kicked that round too.

The next round was about Tennis. Done.

We got 8 points. Murdered everyone. Wouldn’t have thought the French could have come up with such a fun sport but I guess that’s why love means nothing. You think that was a dumb joke? Just wait.

Also I knew Steffi Graff and Andre Agassi are married and have a lot of combined singles titles but 31?!?!. I originally guessed 19 and then wimped out and ended up being off by about half with our final answer being 16. The group next to us got 3 and we were in the lead after this round so I forgave Mr. and Mrs. Agassi.

Terrorism. I’m kind of a peaceful guy. This wasn’t my category. Luckily Richard and Matt have a clue. The Brits lost the most people in the twin towers (I would have gotten that one). Carlos “The Jackel” was a bad man. The I.R.A. is considered a terrorist group by the English but not the U.S. or the E.U. – interesting.

NEXT!

We are still in the lead. We have 3 points on second place.

The next round was on Motown. Not my area but it ended up not being too hard. Somehow I was the only one in my group that knew that The Temptations sang “My Girl”. I feel like this may have been because it was featured in some of the TV shows I watched growing up. I don’t know. We got one point for both the song and the artist. Half for each. We ended up with 6.5 pts. It wasn’t too hard. There were some we should have had but little Michael, Stevie Wonder,

Marvin Gay and the Supremes made the entire round somewhat of a push.

But we gained a half of a point. We’re up 3.5.

Child Actors. Could have gone either way. Which actor was in Rebel Without a Cause and Miracle On 34th Street? The correct answer would be Natalie Wood. My eighth grade teacher was obsessed with James Dean. In Rebel Without a Cause, he starred with Natalie Wood and Sal Mineo. I will forever remember this. And it’s not a bad movie. Ron Howard and Jennifer Connolly were child actors that both won Oscars for the 2001 movie A Beautiful Mind. We got a couple others involving Jason Bateman, Shirley Temple, Elizabeth Taylor and Taxi Driver but when my team needed me most I failed.

The team didn’t even need me. Matt got the answer right. Name one of the three movies that Leonardo DiCaprio received an Oscar nod for? Matt initially said What’s Eating Gilbert Grape but I was positive that he received nominations for The Aviator and for both Blood Diamond

and The Departed in 2006.

I wasn’t WRONG. He did get Oscar nods for The Aviator and Blood Diamond. He also did get Golden Globe Award nominations for both films in 2006 but it just so happened that I convinced Matt and Richard that I am always right about Leo and of the three movies I thought were right – I picked the only one that wasn’t.

I KNEW he was nominated for the The Aviator and for Blood Diamond but the time crunch made me nervous and somehow I went with the one I was least sure about and we got it wrong. DAMN IT LEO! The Departed was a great movie! And Mark Wahlberg got a supporting actor nod and he is FROM Boston. Ughh…

Last round! Double points! Random questions!

How many of the top five highest grossing movies of 2011 are sequals? Pirates, Transformers, Harry Potter, Cars and Kung Fu Panda! Next!

World’s first Billionaire? Unfortunately not J.P. Morgan. It was Rockefeller. Should have gotten this one but not a bad answer. Bummer.

It takes THREE of today’s cigarettes to equal that of a 1950s cigarette. We guessed one. But seriously, depends on the cigarette right? I want a recount.

Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate that was a OBGYN. Thank you Richard. A jenny is a baby DONKEY. Damn it Matt.

LCD means Liquid Crystal Display. Tom Brady was the man in 2007. Darwin was alive in 1825 (I really had forgotten that one) and Babylonia was the ancient city located near what is now Bagdad. Should have gotten that last one. Decided on something that was close (I think). 12 points.

Not the 20 we were shooting for BUT… it was enough for the WIN!

First night out at trivia night and we came home winners. We won the grand prize of...

27 DOLLARS!

This paid for the tab and we got our 2 dollar entry fees back. This was my biggest mistake of the night. The winnings took care of the tab and I was drinking crappy $2 beer while the other gentlemen were drinking some nice rum, or “ron” as it is called here. I had two (20 ouncers) beers. So, of the $21 dollars worth of alcohol we won, I only drank $4 of it.

This was a wasted opportunity to have the house buy me some better booze, but such is life. There will be another Trivia Night and another tab up for grabs. And when the time comes, I dare them to ask another Leo question.

I Wanna Dance!

So there is this golf course called Whisper Rock Golf Club in Scottsdale, Arizona. Lots somebodies are members there. They claim to have an aggregate handicap of 7 – lowest in the country. Wayne Gretzky is a member there. So is Freddy Couples, Geoff Ogilvy, and Paul Konerko. Lots of pro or aspiring pro golfers are members there. So are people that have done well enough in business to have the time to play a lot of golf or people that have played enough golf to do well in business.

It’s invite only and they only have single memberships so there is no pool for the kids or spa for the wives. Whisper Rock is about golf and business for some of the best at each in the country.

Zoe, the salsa club I dance at, is kind of like this. Except Zoe is not invite only so shmucks like me occasionally find their way in. Zoe has the best salsa dancers I have seen in my two months here and Saturday night (when I go) members from the national team were there. Now, before you chuckle at Ecuador having a salsa team, remember we Americans have a televised national competition for cheerleading.

They did this awesome routine with two couples that easily could have been featured in the professional-dancers-only portion of Dancing With the Stars (I heard that they do that…). They were swapping partners back and forth and twisting and shaking in perfect harmony with flare and technique that led to applause at the end. They even had a part where the two guys spun the girls away and the guys grabbed each other and danced together.

It was one of those “No homo, but we just wanted to prove we are good enough to do this and we know it” moves. You know the move? No?

Yeah, me neither but it seemed like that’s what it was. And it worked. Every girl had their eyes on them and to be honest… so did I.

Now, determined not to be shown up in his own club (more or less), Maricio (my man crush from previous salsa updates) came out and grabbed one of the girls that was dancing with the national people. Now normally I would be patriotic – technically the people on the national team are from Ecuador while Maricio is from Colombia – but I take salsa lessons from the studio where Maricio works and I think he recognized me once.

Maricio hopped out there for the next song and was on top of it. It was incredible. His legs actually move faster than my eyes. Most mortals will do one move or throw in some flare between beats (Di) or try their hardest to figure out the beat (me), but Maricio was throwing in like six or seven. His legs looked like the wheel of a car going 60 mph. The national team had technique and basically a game plan that was executed perfectly. The national team was like Tim Duncan (He is not boring if you like basketball.). Maricio is like a younger Kobe Bryant – he has the technique and but he also has exceptional flare and is more entertaining.

So after Maricio was done and I picked my jaw up off the ground I mustered up enough courage (or were those mojitos?) to hop on the dance floor after him. If I am in the mood I don’t need many drinks to get out there. Earlier a Cuencana girl actually asked me to dance. That was a first for me. Normally I would think she had lost a bet but her self-described “friend” didn’t look too friendly when I was dancing with her. I would have described the dangers of the “friend zone” to him but he didn’t seem too interested in speaking with me.

My dance with Maria (the bold but disappointed girl) wasn’t a train wreck but it didn’t go well. I can kind of bullshit my way through a dance – spin here and there and shake here and there and spend very little time doing anything technical. The slow songs are my cue for the bathroom or the bar. This song wasn’t slow but this girl was good and I felt like an idiot pretty quickly, but a good laugh or smile anytime you screw up can get you out of a lot (and not just on the dance floor).

The salsa came and went. It’s not often I actually do the steps right but I can mix and match different stuff to get by. I suspect I will have to learn more if any other Cuencanas are to have any interest in me as a dance partner (not with Maricio on the same planet).

Later, American music came on. It wasn’t Lady Gaga but I could dance to it. Did I just admit to having danced to Lady Gaga? Geez. This sounds like my coming out blog post. Did I mention I am invited for soccer this week, watched football for four hours Sunday and I played golf on Saturday? Although I don’t know if the golf counts.

I was playing with, my friend, Rafaela’s father and her cousin. I had an 11 on the first hole and a twelve before I was done. We only played nine holes but you wouldn’t have known it by the scorecard. Won’t be expecting a call from Whisper Rock anytime soon. I’ll stick to salsa for now.

Cheeseburger in Rayradise

One of the things you have to get used to when living in South America is that the standards for service just aren’t very high. Some of the expensive places do feature good service, but on a day to day basis it’s not much to write home about. Until today.

Matt, Di, the kids and I went to this burger place we had heard about. No reviews. Just that it existed.

Ray’s American Burgers. I was excited because it happened to be located right next to my favorite ice cream shop in town (second only to Moo Time in Coronado, CA). A burger and an ice cream cone sounded like a wonderful start of an afternoon that featured hints of blue a blue sky, which has been MIA for the last two weeks. I don’t know how people do it in Seattle.

We took the bus into El Centro and only had to walk a block or two and the sign was easy enough to see from across the park and we headed to lunch. Walking in, I was interested to see a desk with cords and cables just running around in the corner of what was a small room. The walls were white and decorated with nothing except construction paper that had hand written Ecuadorian food items that were not to be found on the menu.

There was also a picture of a huge black guy eating a huge burger taped to construction paper. Not a lot of black guys in Ecuador. So the inside was really boring and what wan’t really boring was really random.

The room was maybe 14ft. by 14ft. and had 6 or so tables that he had ordered from the Crate & Trash Can catalog. We had five people and moved two tables together, but one could not seat four people.

Ray gave us an extra “new” menu that was a piece of paper that was identical to the crappy laminated ones we had in front of us.

The first menu item was not a burger and nor was the last so Ray’s American Burgers’ menu did not begin or end with burgers. Instead they were sandwiched in between a hot dog and a polish hotdog. The Polish hot dog in Ecuador was described “a New Jersey thing.” Oh and he’s from North Carolina. The first burger on the menu was called Hamburgers Ray’s Way. Now I didn’t order this particular item (came with ketchup, mayo, onions, and tomato) but I couldn’t understand why the name was plural. In addition to having poor grammar (yes, just like this blog), Ray’s burger was also the cheapest and most boring thing on the menu.

He (Ray) initially took the kids’ order then walked away and then came back and then took our order and then forgot the kids order and then came back for that. So after doing the “Ordering Lunch” version of the Hokey Pokey, he told us that his “help” had just stepped out but would be back in a few moments. He was half right. It didn’t take forever but it was 10 minutes before the cook showed up to make our food.

I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with a Fanta and a side of fries. Matt and Di got the sausages and the kids got regular hotdogs.

The food didn’t take too long (we were the only table) and came out at relatively the same time, which is rare in Ecuador. Di and I had ordered sides of fries. And our meals came with fries. I didn’t count them, but if I had, I wouldn’t have needed to take off my shoes. It was an embarrassingly small portion of fries. The kids’ hot dogs came cut in half and on a hamburger bun.

The entire time there had been Beatles music playing. I am in no way complaining about Beatles music being on when I am eating lunch. And I really didn’t care if it was a too loud. I like the music and I can talk to Matt and Di anytime. But it was coming from cheap little speakers that were connected to his laptop and was obviously just on the “Beatles” section on his iTunes. I wondered if we were going to find out what the next band was. Would we get some Bee Gees or maybe some Beyoncé?

So halfway through our meal he comes out and tells us that he is bringing out more fries, which I appreciated, but wasn’t sure why it took so long to relay that to the short-fried table.

The next set of fries were really hot and undercooked and spread out over a plate making a perfectly sizeable portion of fries look like small potatoes. (GET IT?!) It also came with very little ketchup and mayonnaise just on the side but amongst the fries. They could have just pushed the fries to one half of the plate and put the ketchup and mayo on the other side and it would have looked like more fries and have been much more aesthetically pleasing

Matt asked for a fork and ray came back with a bag of plastic sporks. After finally opening the bag on the wrong side (away from the stems), he said, “I’ll let you help yourselves,” and left Matt with the entire bag.

So now that I was finishing my burger, which really was fine (Not good. He didn’t take a temperature preference, but I have had worse.), I decided now would be a good time to get that Fanta I ordered. I asked him about it and he had forgotten my order but I didn’t care. He forgot Di’s too but that’s ok. I got my orange drink and they brought four cokes instead of one. Worse things have happened obviously. Whatever.

Ray asked us, passing by, if we liked the Beatles (still the only music playing), and we of course said yes and added our two cents and then Ray told us this great story that went, “One time, I sang karaoke, to Revolution.” Thinking he was about to start talking about band camp, we stared at him blankly and then realized the story was over. We more or less applauded and he went on his way.

I had some of the Fanta but Piper loves orange soda (who doesn’t?) and wanted it and I figured a full coke for a half empty (or half full) Fanta was a good trade. I thought I had smoked her in that deal until I tasted the coke and it was flatter than a Russian ballerina.

I got over it and we were ready for the bill and to go get some ice cream. After being overcharged by three dollars (which included the sodas we didn’t order), we got the bill back and the total seemed correct. The numbers for the individual items (all of which existed on the menu) were wrong but the bottom line is all that’s really important.

We left Ray’s American Burgers without being very impressed with him or his burgers. We hope he stops claiming to sell American food and representing gringos with that kind of service and experience. I feel bad harping, but the only things he had going for him were his proximity to ice cream and those four longhaired Brits.

Travel People

I’ve enjoyed living in the Andes, and in a city older than Peter O’Toole. I’ve enjoyed speaking Spanish and eating different parts of the animals than I am used to eating. But I think my favorite part thus far has been meeting different people.

It was hard at first. The language school I was studying at seemed like the tide after a storm when I was a kid. Like the tide would wash different things upon the shore, the school would usher in new students in each week.

The tide would wash up fun things to play with and shells that were interesting to listen to. Some things were kinda gross and some things I was happy to throw back into the ocean. The school brought some friends that I will keep in touch with. Brought some people I loved listening to and have learned from. Some accents I had never heard and some I couldn’t understand (I thought Irish people spoke English). Some people I was happy to let the tide take away (The French stereotype is true. It just is.). Some people were on interesting journeys and some people were on really interesting journeys. Some had been adrift for a while and some had just set sail.

Like every sandcastle I have ever built looked pretty similar, you end up having a lot of the same conversations. But like all my sandcastles were glorious and triumphant (I remember, clearly), all the conversations are wonderful as well. The questions are the same but the answers are different. People have simi

lar reasons but they come from different places within them.

This last weekend Matt and Di were still on the road. We had traveled north through Ecuador making our way to Quito (the capital) where I parted ways and came back to Cuenca (I need a solid week to prepare for my fantasy football draft)(Plus I was completely out of money… Ecuador is not THAT cheap). Matt and Di continued on their way to the jungle and the beach with the kids but before they left they sent me a little care package.

They talked to a couple for about 15 minutes in a hostel before they thought enough of them to lend out their apartment for a weekend. They gave the travelers my number and Matt texted me that a couple and their daughter (who they hadn’t met) were on the way. I didn’t have a clue and was mildly bummed I was losing my own apartment for a few days (Love those kids but some alone time at home was welcome). We exchanged two emails and a phone call before they showed up at the door.

Michael and Pilar are in their mid thirties and from the Orange County area. Michael had an impressive beard and a wit that kept me entertained the entire time. He lives out west but is from Chicago and retains the genuineness that has made me so found of the Midwest. He is a very smart IT guy and knew his stuff as we talked about technology and innovation and, of course, movies. He likes fixing bikes and cooking. He was a pleasure to be around because I could tell he was soaking in every moment of his experience. He is observant and curious and just enjoyed learning about a different place. He asked questions about what he saw – most of which I couldn’t answer. Some tour guide.

Pliar is a massage therapist and her free spirit was refreshing. We had an interesting conversation about the tattoos the couple was sporting. We talked about her experiences with how different people react to them and how her experiences getting them and why you should, shouldn’t, and which ones to look out for (No girls’ names!). It was actually the first time I had had a conversation about tattoos with someone who actually had them.

Pilar’s daughter, though, has to wait. Xylia, is 15 going on 25. When I was 15 I was counting down the days til I could drive, sleeping through biology, and discovering girls and booze (and the nice combo they made). Xylia likes politics and music. She really likes music. I know what I like and what I don’t but I can’t dissect baselines or compare bands’ albums from the 70’s. But this girl knows her stuff. And wasn’t condescending about it like some people who think they are holier than now because they listened to some obscure album and wikipediaed the bassist’s drug problems. Before she ever gets behind the wheel of a car, she will have been to Ecuador, Argentina, Peru, Chile and have backpacked in Patagonia. Not your average 15-year-old SoCal blond.

They arrived in Ecuador about the same time I did. They had spent the past three weeks living out in the country with an indigenous family. They slept on the dirt floor wrapped up in their sleeping bags and half their clothes.

They were pretty excited to be sleeping in beds but most of all to see a proper kitchen. These guys could cook. They made impeccable pizzas and breakfasts that would suit royalty. I’m so pathetic in the kitchen I can hardly tell you what we ate, let alone make it. It wasn’t macaroni and cheese. It wasn’t ramen. It wasn’t peanut butter and jelly. It wasn’t cereal. But there were eggs in there! I recognized those!

The first night we went out to La Cigale – now bartenders know me by name in two countries… ugh. We got to know each other and I was able to find out more about their previous travels and they were very interested in my experience in staying in one place.

Their original plan was to live in Argentina for a year instead of traveling. Having just come back from about 8 days on the road I was in a little better position to speak to the difference. Having Cuenca as a home was a much different experience. I have Cuencano friends. I have local places I like to eat and walk. I have a bed I call mine, and my own space when I need it. Being sick in South America is not fun. But being sick in a South American hostel is terrible (or in Xylia’s case, on a farm with a cozy dirt floor to retreat to). I have a bed, a shower, and a family that is there shall sickness strike me.

The next morning we went to the Cuenca vs. Ecuador futbol game. Not feeling quite so bold as to sit in the “General” seating, we got the expensive seats at $16 a pop. The beer was $2 a piece and my jersey was $5. I went to a major sporting event in town and spent a combined $25 dollars for a good ticket, a jersey and two beers (big guys too!). That might get you a parking spot within a mile of a Laker game where a jersey is another $80. The ticket would be $125ish and two beers would probably cost you $7.50 a piece. That’s about $245 for one person. I’ll take the soccer game.

The fans are better. The cheering is more fun. It’s an international game. And oh yeah… We won on a goal in the 87^th minute. GO CUENCA!!! So exciting.

Quito is the best team in the league. Screw them. We won.

After the game we took a walk up to La Iglesia de Turi. – maybe the best view of town. When we got home we played Rummy and ate pizza. The homemade dough was delicious.

The record books will tell you that Michael was the first to 500 pts., but I was the first to 300 pts. and we had originally agreed to play to 300 and after I just wasn’t as invested. The second part of the game didn’t count. And just because someone wrote something on piece of paper, doesn’t make it true. I know who won. That’s probably enough.

Unfortunately Michael, Pilar, and Xylia didn’t get very good weather while they were visiting. Their last day they just wanted to hang out. Pilar made it out to explore but a couple raindrops were enough to put me down for a nap.

We went back to La Cigale that night and we brought the cards. They say you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure. I like going to La Cigale and having fun but when I play cards, I am all business. This combo didn’t bring me any good karma and I got my butt kicked. Add one to the loss column but let there be an asterisk to let people know the circumstances. In 1945 St. Louis Browns’ outfielder, Peter Gray, batted just .218 but he was at a slight disadvantage… he only had ONE ARM. That is something people should know when evaluating his performance. This is kinda like that.

Michael, Pilar, and Xylia are moving to Portland when they return to the states. Portland is on my very short list of cities I will ideally end up in, so I am confident I will meet them again back home. Though hopefully before that, down on the new farm, where they are staying, about six hours south of Cuenca. They’ll head to Peru next month.

For only spending about 15 minutes with two of them, Matt and Di knew what I found to be true: traveling is a web of places, languages, buildings, mountains, religions, foods beaches, climates, and cultures, but it’s the people you meet in between, that connect everything and create the experiences you take with you through your life.

I won’t ever forget the people that have crossed my path throughout my time here and if and when the tide brings them back upon my shore, the will be cards ready.