Cotopaxi - Part 1

We “woke up” at midnight. Sleep is hard to come by at 16,000 ft. This wass the highest I had ever been. My head was already hurting but it felt better than the day before, when we arrived at the climbers’ refuge. I wasn’t sure if I was 98% nervous and 2% excited or the other way around. I had never felt that way before. I had never done anything like this in my life. We were an hour away from attempting to the summit of Cotopaxi.

Two days earlier, a seven-hour bus ride took us to Latacunga, the small town set beneath the towering volcano. The realization was refreshing. I had spent long enough thinking about what climbing Cotopaxi would be like. I was excited to find the truth.

The active peak stands at 19,347 ft. above sea level. I had only been to 13,850 ft. and that was only a week prior.

I would be trekking with Matt and Anna. Matt, 40-something, has been working out rigorously in preparation for the climb. Anna, 28, who rowed to Olympic gold in Beijing, has beenworking out with Matt and doing her own things. I occasionally made cameos at their workouts and worked out on my own. I feel prepared – ya know, sort of.

I am 22. Former OK athlete. Generally strong legs. I took a year off football and on my third day back ran a mile in 5:42 (in my year off I took up golf). That gave me confidence in my legs I probably didn’t need.

We all live at 8,500 ft., which helps.

Latacunga is pretty at night. Our hostel was near a historic square. It was beautifully lit. On the corner was a pizzeria.

After a quick dinner, we went to bed in our hostel dormitory that we had to ourselves.

We had to meet our guides at 8:00 a.m. and breakfast was at 7:00 a.m. so naturally we got up at 6:00 a.m. It took bout 30 seconds to realize that it doesn’t take an hour to stumble in and out of a shower and pack a school backpack with the clothes from yesterday and the book that put me to sleep the night before.

Breakfast was lonely. The hostel seemed fairly empty and the only inhabitants were having beers last night. Didn’t expect them up early.

The guide’s shop was more or less around the corner. High Andes. Our guides are brothers named Fernando and William. Ironically, it’s Fernando that speaks English (in addition to Swiss, German, Hebrew, Italian and obviously Spanish).

We get geared up trying on pants and boots. I was able to bring all my upper layers (long sleeve polyester shirt, fleece pullover, fleece jacket, shell).

Check!

Trying on pants was interesting. I was basically given sweat pants to begin with. A little stunned, and scared, I asked for something else. The top is about -5˚ F without wind chill. We’re going to be on a peak above 19,000 ft. I’m going to err on the side of there might be a little wind chill. He came back with some nice snow pants that fit perfectly with my fleece under-layer.

Pants? Check!

The first boots I tried on fit perfectly. Too bad they fit Anna too. The second was too small. So was the third. The fourth finally fit well… enough.

Boots. Ch..ch...check.

(My feet blister and freeze routinely. They are wimpy. These boots have input the potential of an excruciating hike.)

I got my ice axe (this rules), cramp-ons (these look intense), backpack, hat, sleeping bag, gators, gloves, and… “inside gloves.”

I was ready.

Kind of.

I didn’t have socks (For those who don’t know, cotton freezes and can kill you. Not a good call if you’re gonna be outside in the cold for an extended period of time.) But we would pick those up along the way. I had two small water bottles but they would sell more up there.

After a short walk around town to kill time we returned to load up and head out for Cotopaxi.

It was about a 45 minutes to the park and another hour from the park entrance up the winding bumpy road.

We had stopped for lunch as we were leaving town.

At the park entrance, I mentioned to Fernando that I still didn’t have socks. Seemingly having forgotten, he looked around and then pointed to the vendor in the shack on the side of the road. Glad I said something, I bought some awesome red alpaca socks that had a llama and a lady circling my ankle.

I wasn’t sure how well they would work but it couldn’t be worse than the (cotton) socks I was wearing – I was already getting a blister.

Winding up this mountain road, packed into the back with Matt and Anna we looked on to what lay ahead the next morning. After an hour’s drive the peak didn’t look that much closer.

We finally arrive at the parking lot. Bless Anna – she has band-aids. I already needed two of them.

The blisters have me a little rattled. One was on my left pinky toe and the other was just a hotspot but on my right heal.

It’s cold up here. We put on our jackets.

I’m nervous about my feet holding up. I forgot my wallet and sunscreen in my bag in Latacunga (Anna helped with the socks). Good lord.

Am I ready for this? I already need Matt and Anna to hold my hand and we haven’t taken one step toward the summit.

I start concentrating on breathing (I mean we are at 14,800 ft.) and start to feel better.

I’ll worry about the blisters if they become a problem but the alpaca socks will help. Matt and Anna kindly offered to lend me money if I need it but we are going to the climbers’ refuge, not Rodeo Dr. They have sunscreen and most everything is covered anyway.

There is a 1,000 ft. climb to the refuge. In theory, a good practice hike.

I’m monitoring my breathing. With every step I am going higher than I have ever been before. I can breath surprisingly well.

We walk slowly, one step at a time. The entire hike is up. The key is pace.

Arriving at the refuge was a small victory but a welcome one after feeling pretty nervous in the car. It took about 30 or 40 minutes and it wasn’t difficult. We all felt pretty good.

But my head is hurting. Headaches are one of the first signs of altitude sickness. I’m not going to let a headache stop me from getting to the top but layers of skin on my foot ripping away while fighting a searing headache doesn’t sound like a good way to climb. The foot feels OK. My head will be fine. Lets just hope it doesn’t get worse.

The clouds had blocked the peak from the parking lot but they lifted when we got to the top and we had a beautiful view of the summit. It didn’t seem very far.

A little math told us that all we had to do was do what we had just done, three and a half more times. Not bad.

Our guide, William, made dinner and tea. We had, surprise surprise, chicken and rice.

After dinner Fernando gave us a demonstration of the cramp-ons. It was too late to practice outside. He told us what to do in case we fell and how to navigate when everyone is tied together. Uh… Let’s all agree not to fall. K?

Bedtime can quickly. 6:00 p.m.

My headache, nerves, and distaste for sleeping bags (I NEED to be able to move my legs) make sleeping nearly impossible. After lying there for about two and a half hours, I finally fell asleep ready (thought still nervous) for what was coming.

Scandal At Penn State Brings Down Paterno

After 61 years of hard work, success and being a pillar of respectability Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno will walk away in shame and disgrace. Recently seen as the squeakiest of the clean schools in a time when heads of giants were rolling, scandal in Happy Valley has shocked the sports world.

On November 4^th former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky, 67, was indicted on 40 counts of sex crimes against young boys. A Pennsylvania investigating grand jury identified eight boys who were sexually assaulted from 1994 until 2009. Sandusky retired in 1999.

Bringing matters back to Penn State, when Sandusky retired in 1999 he retained his use to the athletic facilities. In 2002, then grad assistant (current assistant coach) Mike McQueary walked in on Sandusky sodomizing a 10-year-old boy. McQueary said he was “distraught” after seeing this, went to his office and called his father. His father told him to leave the building.

The next day McQueary reported the incident to Paterno. Paterno in turn told athletic director Tim Curley. Curley and senior vice president for finance and business (also in charge of Penn State University Police) Gary Schultz told Sandusky not to bring children to the facilities anymore. There was no notification to the police.

Curley and Shultz are now being charged with perjury and failure to report suspected child abuse.

People are calling for McQueary and Paterno to resign immediately. The two men reported the abuse to their superiors but when nothing was done, they stood by.

Paterno, now 84, has been at Penn State for 61 years and has been Head Coach for the last 46 years. He has been a model for hard work and competing the “right way” for decades. His philanthropy and service have been well documented. He has consistently graduated high percentages of his players and has stayed clear of all of recruiting corruption and violations that has plagued college football for the last half decade.

King of State College and legend in the sporting ranks, this once bright star is falling fast. Paterno has announced he will retire at the end of the season and for the Board to “not spend another minute discussing [his] status.”

The Board will discuss his status and his future. The future may be now. JoePa may have coached his last game for the Nittany Lions and brought an abrupt, sad, and terrible end to a career filled with much service, hard work, and success (two national championships and the most wins in major college football).

This dark cloud looming, and beginning to resemble a mushroom, over the athletic program and Joe Paterno will shape the college football icon’s legacy. For all he did do, we will remember him for what he didn’t do.

This week in Sports

Baseball

Since the last post the St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series beating the Texas rangers in Game 7. Generally unknown 3^rd baseman David Freese won the World Series MVP. He hit a walk-off home run in the 11^th inning of Game 6. He had 7 RBIs in the series and batted .348.

Free Agency has started for Baseball and there are a few intriguing names. Albert Pujols of the St. Louis Cardinals is the biggest fish on the market. He presents an interesting debate though. Pujols has been the best player in the league for the better part of the last decade. ESPN’s Buster Olney recently called him the best 1^st Baseman ever (ahead of Lou Gehrig) and the 3^rd best hitter ever (behind only Babe Ruth and Ted Williams). He is a great fielder and hitter. He hits for power and runs well. He has two world championships and is marketable. He will undoubtedly improve his next team and it would be a very significant loss for the world champs.

At 32, however, he has probably seen his best baseball. His age is in question, as many of the players co

ming from the Dominican Republic have not been truthful about their birthdates. Pujols had his worst year last year but was still among the league’s best players. He will look for something in the Alex Rodriguez range. In 2007, the New York Yankees 3^rd Baseman got a 10 year deal for $275 million at 32 years old. Pujols won’t get that much. The richest teams (Yankees, Red Sox, and Phillies) all are committed at 1^st base. The early returns on A-Rod’s deal make it look like the last few years of that contract will be excruciating. His play has dropped off significantly and he still has six years left.

Pujols will likely get something in the 7-year, $200 million range… And my Mom let me quit tee ball. Ugh.

Football

Week 9 is in the books and Week 10 marks the beginning of Thursday night games for the rest of the season.

Last Week:

The New York Giants beat the New England Patriots 24-20 in a rematch of the 2008 Super Bowl. The Giants beat the previously unbeaten Patriots in 2008 17-14. In 2008, Giants’ quarterback Eli Manning orchestrated a late game touchdown drive to shock Tom Brady’s Patriots that were hoping to make history. This time around, with less time and further to go, Manning found the old magic and found his receiver in the endzone with 15 seconds left to play, sealing another victory against the future Hall of Famer.

The Miami Dolphins won a game! The co-leader in the Suck for Luck sweepstakes killed an up and down Kansas City Chiefs team 31-3. How this happened, I do not know.

This leaves the Indianapolis Colts in the lead as the only remaining winless team. The Colts will have an interesting debate if they do get the number 1 pick. They currently employ one of the top quarterbacks ever in Peyton Manning but his neck issues make his future entirely uncertain. Manning would like to play this season while some think he might not ever play again. Manning just signed a $90 million contract this summer.

Is it possible to trade Manning? The favorite to be the number 1 pick, Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck, will make about $25 million over 5 years. Manning is due $69 million in just the next three years. The “next Manning” for cheap or the injured one for an arm and a leg? We will find out if the Colts continue its run of futile football.

The Green Bay Packers improved to 8-0 after winning a shoot out with the San Diego Chargers. Packers’ quarterback Aaron Rodgers is the leading MVP candidate and playing the quarterback position about as well as possible - he’s on pace to set the single season passer rating mark.

My Arizona Cardinals won a pretty pathetic game on Sunday. They won in overtime 19-13. The Cards needed a field goal block to force overtime. In overtime rookie Patrick Peterson returned a punt 99 yards for the winning touchdown. The Cardinals gave up 4 points in the third quarter marking the first time in NFL history that has happened. The Cardinals gave up two safeties (when a player gets tackled in his own endzone) on CONSECUTIVE PLAYS!

Tomorrow we’ll look at the games for next week and the NBA lockout.

A Letter To The Ladies

Dear Ladies,

It was never personal. It was never a designed escape from your comfy, matching, ball and chain. In our long-suffering quest for power slash reluctance to challenge you for any of it, we have turned to something else. In weakness, we were taken by obsession – obsession with Fantasy Football.

It’s fulfilling that we have control over the millionaires that were picked before us in gym class and got all the girls in high school (except the beautiful, smart ones like you). And we now have ways to compete with our friends without having to get all sweaty and smelly! The truth is, we have always been fascinated with control.

Why do men love golf 10 to the umpteenth power times more than we reasonably should? It’s not the escape. Hikes, sporting events, and nights out can get us out of the house. It’s the control factor.

We are infatuated with the idea of being able to control a ball that is three hundred yards away (ya know, on a windy day). Nobody practices putting because moving a ball eight feet is about as impressive as getting to second base on prom night – no one cares. It’s the same reason snipers are the most badass guys in the military. Men want to be able to affect a greatest area possible. It’s a territorial thing.

Fantasy Football gives us the ability to “control” NFL players that are all over the country. It lets us make the same decisions as the rich owners and GMs we fantasize being. It let’s us rationalize our, “See! I should be a GM!” assertions with actual proof!

I understand it can be a frustrating reality – How can you remember the entire NFL schedule but not your son’s soccer schedule? How can you pull out Jacoby Houshama-whoever’s stats when your friends ask, but can’t pull out our anniversary when my friends ask? Why are Peyton Manning’s neck problems more important than mine?

I get it. I really do. These are valid questions. I can’t tell you it’s going to get better. That’d be a lie. We are obsessed. I realize no sane person should care about a game between Jacksonville and Buffalo and “But it’s my kicker!” isn’t an excuse to miss dinner.

I’m not seeking forgiveness for men or a free pass, but just that you know, it’s not you – it’s us. We need this. For those of you who already agreed to put up with a sports fan through sickness and health – this is our sickness. Pity us.

Sincerely,

Under Appreciative Overly Obsessive Male #30890394

This Week In Sports

American League

The Texas Rangers go after their second AL pennant in as many seasons tonight versus the Detroit Tigers. Down three games to one, Detroit sends Justin Verlander to the mound in hopes of playing another day. The Rangers’ timely hitting has been the story in this series with 11^th inning homers in Games 2 and 4.

National League

Those Milwaukee Brewers I was raving about need some help. They are down 2-1 and are sending the devastatingly average Randy Wolf to the mound in St. Louis. Wolf is a “pitch-to-contact” lefty who has been pitching to a little too much contact lately. Albert Pujols has been, well, Albert Pujols (the league’s best player).

The Brewers’ need some magic from Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder. In small samples, Braun has faired well against St. Louis’ Game 4 starter, Kyle Lohse, whereas Fielder has hit well below his career/season averages.

The Brewers boasted the best home field advantage in the league this year and are desperate to get the series back to Milwaukee (Games 6 & 7). They play tonight.

Football

Things to watch weekend:

The San Francisco 49ers travel to Detroit to play the Lions. The Lions are an impressive 5-0 and the 4-1 49ers have surprised everyone. The Lions bandwagon was full before the season began but they have surpassed everyone’s expectations. The Niners’ have had more hype with no results in the last decade than any other team that doesn’t rhyme with the Touston Hexans. Now that only crickets reside on their bandwagon, the team is leading its division by 3 games and has the league’s best run defense.

Oft-injured Lions’ quarterback (former no. 1 pick), Matthew Stafford, has stayed healthy (I knocked!) and put together a fantastic season throwing to wide receiver Calvin Johnson who looks like the best pass-catcher in the league.

Oft-crappy Niners’ quarterback Alex Smith (also a former no. 1) has looked like an NFL QB this year for first time after 6 years of impotence (on the field).

The Packers welcome the pad-statable St. Louis Rams to Green Bay this weekend for what may be Vegas’ highest line of the year.

The most fun game to watch this week should be Sunday afternoon’s game the New England Patriots at the Dallas Cowboys. The Romocoaster is always fun but it will be hard for Tony Romo & Co. to acquire any lead big enough to squander in historic fashion against the Patriots. Tom Brady is well on pace to break Dan Marino’s Single Season Passing Record of 5,084 yards (Granted so are Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees and rookie Cam Newton, but Brady leads the league), and the Pats lead the league in scoring.

Monday’s game between the New York Jets and Miami Dolphins is forgettable. The Dolphins are in the Suck For Luck Sweepstakes. This year’s NFL Draft (the No. 1 Pick goes to the worst record) prize is Andrew Luck who has been compared to Peyton Manning and John Elway. The Stanford product is scary good and his parents are currently looking at property in Miami, Indianapolis, Minnesota and Denver.

My Arizona Cardinals will do its best not to lose their bye week.

Two That Won't Be Forgotten

In the last week saw the passing of two titans in their respective fields. Two men that have influenced their worlds like few others have. As I’m sure you know, innovator and Apple Co-Founder, Steve Jobs, passed away Thursday at 56. He was an amazing individual who transformed the world we live in. The computer I’m typing on sports an Apple on the cover and the phone in my pocket isn’t an iPhone (used to be) but is similar. The new “smart” world has a lot to thank Mr. Jobs for.

I had actually forgotten he was sick. I hadn’t seen a picture of him in a while and I could not believe the man who was in his final days was the same one who displayed the iPhone and its successors in his famous presentations. I couldn’t believe that was the man who gave this commencement speech in 2005. The world is less creative and innovative without Steve Jobs. We will all miss him whether we know it or not.

Unless you read ESPN.com or reside in the Bay area, you may have missed another man’s passing on Saturday. Al Davis, 82, was the longtime owner of the Oakland Raiders. Since 1962, he has guided the franchise, as a coach, GM, and owner, to 3 Super Bowls and decades of competitive football. He fostered an atmosphere that became the Black Hole.

He was the last remaining owner from the American Football League (merged with the NFL in 1970), and was a key figure in making the NFL what it is today.

He coined the phrase, “Just Win Baby!”

Davis wasn’t the most liked owner. He was probably too hands on and was difficult to work for. He had famous feuds with plays including with former Heisman Trophy winner, running back Marcus Allen. Allen even accused Davis of trying to ruin his career.

He looked strange in his old age. He had looked sick for a long time and dead for the last decade.

Davis was much more interesting than he was likable but his impact on the football should not go understated. His emphasis on speed and athleticism transformed the game.

For all of us that love football on Sundays, the camaraderie, the good times with friends (the money if you work in the service industry) – we owe a prayer, a drink, or maybe just a thanks to the guy that helped us get to where we are.

This Week In Sports

National League

My Arizona Diamond backs lost in a crushing defeat to the Milwaukee Brewers. It was the final deciding game of the series and its best player, 23 year-old Right Fielder Justin Upton, had multiple chances to be the hero and came up short.

The Brewers advance to face the St. Louis Cardinals. The Cardinals beat the heavily favored Phillies to advance to the National League Championship Series.

Sunday, the Brewers won Game 1, 9-6. Monday the Cardinals struck back to knot the series after Albert Pujols went 4 for 5 with three doubles and a home run. The Caridnals won 12-3. They play Game 3 tonight in St. Louis.

American League

The Detroit Tigers beat the New York Yankees last week to set up a series between it and the Texas Rangers. MVP candidate, pitcher Justin Verlander, finally came through after a less than stellar outing his first go around.

The Rangers are up 2 games to one. Nelson Cruz hit a spectacular 11^th inning grand slam to win Game 2 7-3. Cruz’s grand slam was the first game ending grand slam in post-season history. The Tigers cut the Rangers’ lead in half with a win yesterday and play again this afternoon.

With all the corruption that exists in the world how did Milwaukee, St. Louis, Detroit, and Dallas end up as the final four markets left in baseball? Like the economy isn’t bad enough, they couldn’t have ONE of the Philly, New York, or Boston (the three biggest markets and three best teams in the league on September 1^st) markets.

What does this mean?

With the big names out to root for/against, who should you root for?

This one is easy… the Milwaukee Brewers!

Their playoff slogan is “Fear the Beer!”

They have two bonafide stars. One, Ryan Braun, is your big city-swaggy-face guy, who is a rock star in Milwaukee (impressive considering Wisconsin is a football state) and he embraces it . The other is Prince Fielder who, besides having and awesome name, looks like an ewok.

They have never won a World Series and haven’t been there since 1982. This was its first year ever winning its division.

In addition, there is some bad blood and while Nyjer Morgan (A.K.A. Tony Plush) is kind of a douche and drops more F-Bombs than Johnny McEnroe ever did, the potential of him (5’11’’ 175 lbs) getting in a fight with, the best hitter alive, Albert Pujols (6’3’’, 220 lbs) is tough to pass up.

Football

After five weeks, the teams are starting to cement what they are.

The Green Bay Packers are the best team in the league and the only remaining undefeated team. Aaron Rodgers is making a good case for himself as the best quarterback in the league.

The Lions stayed unbeaten and are 5-0 for the first time since 1952.

The “dream team” Eagles are 1-4 and do not look good. Michael Vick gets a lot of credit for his highlights and fantasy stats but he is 1-6 in his last 7 games and his recently signed $100 million contract is starting to be worrisome five games into it.

The Romosexuals out there got to keep their hair this week. The Dallas Cowboys had a bye.

Rookie phenom and this year’s No. 1 pick, quarterback Cam Newton, looks great and is already one of the more exciting players in the league. His team, the Carolina Panthers, is only 1-4 but has been competitive in every game.

My team, the Arizona Cardinals, was down 28-0 after the first quarter. That’s only happened three times since 1970. Nice work guys. Its newly signed $62 million quarterback was benched for Richard Bartel, who has been cut by four teams.

We’ll take a look at the coming week tomorrow.

Story Time

After having dinner at our friends’ house we came back home to get the kids into bed and put a cap on what was a beautiful weekend. Matt did most of the heavy lifting as Di and I spoke about my plans for when my Mom gets here.

She and I will have two small chunks of time allowing for little more than a possible day trip but more likely, just hang out time in Cuenca. No problem though. The first three days she will be here will be Cuenca’s Independence Festival. It supposed to be a big party.

When she returns after her press trip. Which by the way is NOT fair. She will be here for 2 weeks and will be going to the Galapagos and I will have lived here for six months and will have not gone. I guess it’s a symbol of true immersion given that most people that live here cannot afford to go.

My conversation with Di was interrupted by Matt’s relaying Duncan’s wish for goodnight kisses. Hard to say no to that cute little kid. But I have been getting better! Uncle Teddy Bear has become Uncle Grizzly Bear. Or maybe Uncle Hard Ass. The hugs and kisses are a little fewer and farther between but they squeeze just as hard and still light up when I pick them up.

Tonight the kids got extra hugs and kisses. Duncan was down first but Piper had her little backpack on and was looking for Barbie Princess’s friend – Barbie Sideline Reporter or Barbie President, I don’t remember. There are too many to keep track of.

About twenty minutes after the kids were asleep I was deeply entrenched in a game of Words With Friends on Facebook. This game is insanely addicting. It’s basically online scrabble. You play friends one on one. As many games as you want. I’d like to say my vocabulary and creativity are inflicting heartbreak to my friends 3000 miles away but I’ve hit a little bit of a cold stretch. After a ten game win streak I am currently losing seven six (thank god for “RUMMY” on a triple word/letter) of my nine games.

In the middle of being stuck with U-less Q’s and six letter words with nowhere to put them, I hear a knock on the door. It was faint and was at first mistaken for the wind or the sounds of the apartment breathing and creaking as only heard at night. Again there was a faint knock and an even softer voice whispering my name. I got up and opened the door.

Duncan was standing in his red pajamas that are scattered with robots and rockets that protect him from the bedbugs. His face was as red as his pajamas and tears were running down his face. He seemed scared from a nightmare or the strong wind outside making curious sounds.

“Duncan, what’s wrong buddy?” I said, picking him up.

“I can’t go to sleep without a bedtime story,” he muttered wiping the tears away with one hand and hugging me tight with the other.

I brought him back to my bed and held the little guy until the tears dried up.

“Would you like me to tell you a story, bud?”

He nodded, looking into my eyes seeking the comfort he needed before he could fall asleep.

I really don’t like telling stories. I’m not good at it. I ramble (cut to all my friends/readers of this blog nodding…) I’m not very creative on the spot. I get nervous in front of the damn 5 year-old.

But Duncan needed a story more than I needed not to tell a story so I asked him what he wanted it to be about.

“Peter Pan,” he said.

If you have a story telling deficiency like I do, you can usually just ask them questions about what they want it to be about and they will mostly spell it out. But they figure you out after a while. You can only delay for so long.

As Duncan settled in, Peter Pan arrived in London to meet Wendy. It had been a while and Wendy missed Peter dearly. Wendy wanted Peter to see London and her life in the real world. Reluctantly, Peter put on Michael’s clothes and they went out. Peter was less than happy in London and desperately wanted to use that nifty pixie dust that makes him fly.

After walking around town they walked into a Halloween shop. Peter loved the idea of dressing up and saw a pirate costume. Peter thought dressing up like a pirate would be a great way to sneak onto Hook’s ship and fool him so he could steal his treasure.

After buying the costume, he and Wendy flew to Neverland and Pan dressed up and hopped on Hook’s ship, wanting to be part of the crew. As one crewmember had just walked the plank, there was an open spot. After surprising Hook in his quarters and tying him up, Pan snuck down to the treasure room and grabbed the biggest chest he could find.

He brought it up to the deck and ripped off his costume and said, “HA! I fooled you guys again and now I have your treasure!”

Duncan’s eyes looked like it was Christmas morning. I sadly had nothing else. Wendy and Peter Pan flew away with the treasure.

Duncan said he was ready for bed now and asked me to come snuggle with him. He loves his head scratches (who doesn’t?) and they always put him right to sleep.

He said, “I’m gonna close my eyes, because sometimes they sting.”

He grabbed my arm and scooted closer. Within a minute he was asleep.

I waited another minute or so and snuck out of his room feeling accomplished and gratified. It’s nice to know he knows he can come to me when he has a problem or wants a story. It’s nice to know I can give him what he needs to make him feel better. It nice to know he feels more comfortable sleeping if I am there.

Di always says how being around these kids is the best birth control I could ever have. She’s absolutely right.

The kids are chaos. God help the man who invented the play-size drum set, if I ever find him. Eating is never just eating, but a constant struggle to con them into swallowing something that’s not Mac’N Cheese. The alone time is counted in seconds and usually from the bathroom or the shower. But then again, they like to barge in there too.

But more often than not, this peaking into the future (the DISTANT future) is exciting. They are good kids and constantly put smiles on my face. Hearing the “I love you’s,” at bedtime is heart warming and being their jungle gym is fun every single time. I can’t stand when they push the buttons on my computer, but I can strangely flick really hard and so they don’t do that so much anymore.

It’s fun watching them learn and grow right in front of me. It’s fun having them become a part of my life – a part that won’t end in December. It’s fun knowing less Spanish than a blond 7-year-old. It’s fun having in depth talks about fairies. On Friday, we had a house warming party and I introduced them to another little boy. Duncan went up and hugged him. Piper smiled at him and said hello. About 11 seconds later they sprinted upstairs as if the last one to the top didn’t get any treats.

I’ve enjoyed having kids be a part of my life. And I will again. This glimpse has been exciting and scary at the same time. Someday Future Teddy Jr. will be here and I will get to do all these things again. It’s inevitable that someday Future Teddy Jr. is going to want a story too. I only hope that when he comes into my room tearful and story-hunting he pokes Future Mrs. Teddy.

So You Want To Be A Sports Fan?

Now that Fall is here, you may be finding yourself lonely at church or in the cereal aisle on Sundays. Starting in September every year, hoards of husbands, boyfriends, brothers and friends pilgrimage to bars and friends’ houses to watch football each week.

While golf is still living in the 1950’s, football is embracing women like never before with things like the Lingerie Bowl and the Cowboys Cheerleaders’ Calendar… OK, just kidding. Football is still a guy thing but more than a “guy thing,” it’s a fun thing!

Women deserve the right to hoot and holler at the TV, and cheers their friends just like the guys do!

I am here to help open the door.

Football is great sport to follow. It’s only one day a week. It’s better on TV than in person and it’s a fun way to be social – dress down, forget the makeup, and grab a beer.

When the time comes for my future wife to bring me to a cooking class, I am going to need some basics beforehand.

Some of you women are already properly armed. Kudos.

The basics.

Blend In

Pick a team. Buy a jersey. You want to pick a team that is generally supported by the community you live in. Sports are generally team endeavors and so is cheering. Being that obnoxious opposing fan in the bar is a lot of weight to carry and not worth the stress. It’s fun to high five and cheer with your friends or strangers.

Buy a jersey to show you care (Not the pink one!). Be invested. Buy the most popular player’s jersey. If you buy an obscure player’s jersey, you will have to find out who he is, what position he plays, how he is playing this year, and how he played last year. Don’t make it harder than it has to be.

Cheer When Everyone Else Cheers

If you are the only person cheering in a bar or at a friend’s house then it’s obvious you are not quite sure what is going on. I remember awkwardly beginning to sing in church when everyone else was quiet. Who interrupts a priest?

Start off by just cheering when your team scores. Makes it easy.

Be Positive!

Everyone likes when you say good things about their team. No one is really looking for deep insight from anyone at a bar because everyone thinks they know more than everyone else. What you don’t want to do is put yourself in a hole you can’t get out of.

If you say, “Tom Brady sucks!” someone might turn to you and site his three Super Bowl rings, two MVPs, single season TD record, and the fact that he had more wins through his first 100 games than any other quarterback ever as reasons he doesn’t actually suck. Say nice things and people will want to talk to you. We all want to feel good about our teams and ourselves.

Ask Questions!

Guys love being able to rationalize the hours a week they spend on the Internet looking at stats and reading articles on their favorite teams. Throw ‘em a bone. Ask away.

Also, if you are single, it’s a good conversation starter that gets him feeling good about himself, while keeping you engaged in the game.

Have Fun!

Whether you’re cheering, betting, socializing, enjoying a beer or the BBQ, football is fun. It’s a great way to meet people and it’s the perfect excuse for a little weekend extension.

So leave the heels and handbags at home, ladies – it’s Football Season.

This Week In Sports

We are in the midst of the MLB playoffs at the moment.

American League

The Detroit Tigers are giving the favored New York Yankees all they can handle despite neutralizing MVP candidate pitcher Justin Verlander. Their series is tied at 2 games a piece. The deciding game of the 5-game series will be Thursday night with Yankee rookie Ivan Nova facing Detroit mid-season acquisition Doug Fister. The Yankees roughed up Fister in game 1.

The Texas Rangers beat The Tampa Bay Rays in four games after losing game one. The drama of Eva Evan Longoria’s late season heroics sizzled in unmemorable fashion with the exception of Rangers’ 3^rd Baseman, Adrian Beltre’s three HR game.

National League

The Arizona Diamondbacks fight to play another day after Rookie 1^st Baseman Paul Goldschmidt hit a grand slam, powering the Diamondbacks to a 8-1 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers lead the series 2-1 and play in Arizona tonight.

Philadelphia Phillies’ bench player Ben Francisco hit a pinch-hit home run last night to give the heavily favored Phillies a 2-1 series lead over the St. Louis Cardinals.

Football

Sorry, ladies. After last week’s four-interception mess, Tom Brady cut his hair. Gisele’s Brazilian cabana boy is back to looking like the guy that won three Super Bowls. I’ll miss the Bieber jokes.

The defending Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers put together an offensive performance on Sunday that will keep NFL coaches up all week. Their QB Aaron Rodgers seems to be leading early in the MVP race.

The Dallas Cowboys blew a 17-point lead to the Detroit Lions leading to lots of unwanted attention as the Cowboys head in to their bye week. Tony Romo’s up-and-down play has given birth to the term “Romocoaster.”

Lost in the midst of the collapse was that Detroit is 4-0 for the first time since 1980, eight years before its quarterback, Matthew Stafford, was born.

This has been a weird year thus far as there are really only two teams that stand out as sure things for the playoffs – the New England Patriots and the Packers. And even they both have glaring weaknesses (pass defense).

The Philadelphia Eagles, which had “Dream Team” labels coming into the season, is 1-3. The Pittsburg Steelers were the AFC champions last year but are a mess on the offensive line and their defense looks old.

My team, the Arizona Cardinals, sucks.

I’ll be updating the blog weekly talking about sports, fan-ology, and including some pop culture stuff here and there trying to make it as easy and as fun as possible to be in the loop.

Thanks!

Trivia Night!!!

Twenty - two years of Fall Sundays on the couch, staying up too late watching movies, and going through the “Useless Facts” app while on the toilet have let me to this moment – Trivia Night.

I have a new favorite bar in Cuenca. Well, I have another favorite bar in Cuenca. The Inca Lounge is a bar overlooking the river that borders downtown and sports the best burger I have had outside of Ted’s Montana Grill. The thing is massive. Some people have naturally smaller mouths than other people. This burger is off limits to them. Fortunately they do offer a smaller portion for the small-mouthed-burger-eaters. But it’s not the same experience.

The Inca Lounge arrived on my radar because the American owner wanted to have a place where he could watch football. Now every week, on the Sabbath, the gringos of Cuenca gather to get drunk and yell at TVs for the sake of their fantasy teams (Damn you Tom Brady!!!) and their doomed existence in their suicide pools.

However, in addition to football, beer, and burgers (They call that the Trifecta) the Inca Lounge also has Trivia Night.

Matt had gone before but this was my first time. Forming a trivia team is really all about variety. Obviously in a fantasy draft you don’t draft Tom Brady AND Drew Brees – they play the same position and fulfill the same function on a team. So Tuesday night we brought in the new Trifecta of Matt (Managed an NPO in the Vail Valley, Head of Town Counsel), Richard (Owned a Business Consulting Company, Wrote an Autobiography, Canadian) and me (Bartender, Reigning Fantasy Football Champion, 22). Our team featured smart people from different generations and a kid with enough time on his hands to actually play 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon with IMDb.com (the “Ocean’s” movies made this game kind of a cakewalk and then Valentine’s Day crushed any hope for respectability for the next 15 years).

The game was six rounds and ten questions per round with each round having a category and each answer was worth a point, except the last which was worth two. Pretty basic.

Coming on September 13th, the first round was questions about events that happened on the date September 11th in any year.

Started off showing my value to the team – PETE ROSE broke the MLB all-time hits record on September 11th 1985. Sports fans out there get this one easily but this is Trivia Night in Cuenca, Ecuador. There are lots of, shall we say, “vegetarians.”

We got the question about the Camp David Accords and another about the 1979 Chilean coup d'état but otherwise got our butts kicked. We would have gotten one about breaking ground on the Lincoln Memorial in 1941 if it weren’t for some poor wording. Definitely not on us.

Good news was everyone else got their butts kicked that round too.

The next round was about Tennis. Done.

We got 8 points. Murdered everyone. Wouldn’t have thought the French could have come up with such a fun sport but I guess that’s why love means nothing. You think that was a dumb joke? Just wait.

Also I knew Steffi Graff and Andre Agassi are married and have a lot of combined singles titles but 31?!?!. I originally guessed 19 and then wimped out and ended up being off by about half with our final answer being 16. The group next to us got 3 and we were in the lead after this round so I forgave Mr. and Mrs. Agassi.

Terrorism. I’m kind of a peaceful guy. This wasn’t my category. Luckily Richard and Matt have a clue. The Brits lost the most people in the twin towers (I would have gotten that one). Carlos “The Jackel” was a bad man. The I.R.A. is considered a terrorist group by the English but not the U.S. or the E.U. – interesting.

NEXT!

We are still in the lead. We have 3 points on second place.

The next round was on Motown. Not my area but it ended up not being too hard. Somehow I was the only one in my group that knew that The Temptations sang “My Girl”. I feel like this may have been because it was featured in some of the TV shows I watched growing up. I don’t know. We got one point for both the song and the artist. Half for each. We ended up with 6.5 pts. It wasn’t too hard. There were some we should have had but little Michael, Stevie Wonder,

Marvin Gay and the Supremes made the entire round somewhat of a push.

But we gained a half of a point. We’re up 3.5.

Child Actors. Could have gone either way. Which actor was in Rebel Without a Cause and Miracle On 34th Street? The correct answer would be Natalie Wood. My eighth grade teacher was obsessed with James Dean. In Rebel Without a Cause, he starred with Natalie Wood and Sal Mineo. I will forever remember this. And it’s not a bad movie. Ron Howard and Jennifer Connolly were child actors that both won Oscars for the 2001 movie A Beautiful Mind. We got a couple others involving Jason Bateman, Shirley Temple, Elizabeth Taylor and Taxi Driver but when my team needed me most I failed.

The team didn’t even need me. Matt got the answer right. Name one of the three movies that Leonardo DiCaprio received an Oscar nod for? Matt initially said What’s Eating Gilbert Grape but I was positive that he received nominations for The Aviator and for both Blood Diamond

and The Departed in 2006.

I wasn’t WRONG. He did get Oscar nods for The Aviator and Blood Diamond. He also did get Golden Globe Award nominations for both films in 2006 but it just so happened that I convinced Matt and Richard that I am always right about Leo and of the three movies I thought were right – I picked the only one that wasn’t.

I KNEW he was nominated for the The Aviator and for Blood Diamond but the time crunch made me nervous and somehow I went with the one I was least sure about and we got it wrong. DAMN IT LEO! The Departed was a great movie! And Mark Wahlberg got a supporting actor nod and he is FROM Boston. Ughh…

Last round! Double points! Random questions!

How many of the top five highest grossing movies of 2011 are sequals? Pirates, Transformers, Harry Potter, Cars and Kung Fu Panda! Next!

World’s first Billionaire? Unfortunately not J.P. Morgan. It was Rockefeller. Should have gotten this one but not a bad answer. Bummer.

It takes THREE of today’s cigarettes to equal that of a 1950s cigarette. We guessed one. But seriously, depends on the cigarette right? I want a recount.

Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate that was a OBGYN. Thank you Richard. A jenny is a baby DONKEY. Damn it Matt.

LCD means Liquid Crystal Display. Tom Brady was the man in 2007. Darwin was alive in 1825 (I really had forgotten that one) and Babylonia was the ancient city located near what is now Bagdad. Should have gotten that last one. Decided on something that was close (I think). 12 points.

Not the 20 we were shooting for BUT… it was enough for the WIN!

First night out at trivia night and we came home winners. We won the grand prize of...

27 DOLLARS!

This paid for the tab and we got our 2 dollar entry fees back. This was my biggest mistake of the night. The winnings took care of the tab and I was drinking crappy $2 beer while the other gentlemen were drinking some nice rum, or “ron” as it is called here. I had two (20 ouncers) beers. So, of the $21 dollars worth of alcohol we won, I only drank $4 of it.

This was a wasted opportunity to have the house buy me some better booze, but such is life. There will be another Trivia Night and another tab up for grabs. And when the time comes, I dare them to ask another Leo question.

I Wanna Dance!

So there is this golf course called Whisper Rock Golf Club in Scottsdale, Arizona. Lots somebodies are members there. They claim to have an aggregate handicap of 7 – lowest in the country. Wayne Gretzky is a member there. So is Freddy Couples, Geoff Ogilvy, and Paul Konerko. Lots of pro or aspiring pro golfers are members there. So are people that have done well enough in business to have the time to play a lot of golf or people that have played enough golf to do well in business.

It’s invite only and they only have single memberships so there is no pool for the kids or spa for the wives. Whisper Rock is about golf and business for some of the best at each in the country.

Zoe, the salsa club I dance at, is kind of like this. Except Zoe is not invite only so shmucks like me occasionally find their way in. Zoe has the best salsa dancers I have seen in my two months here and Saturday night (when I go) members from the national team were there. Now, before you chuckle at Ecuador having a salsa team, remember we Americans have a televised national competition for cheerleading.

They did this awesome routine with two couples that easily could have been featured in the professional-dancers-only portion of Dancing With the Stars (I heard that they do that…). They were swapping partners back and forth and twisting and shaking in perfect harmony with flare and technique that led to applause at the end. They even had a part where the two guys spun the girls away and the guys grabbed each other and danced together.

It was one of those “No homo, but we just wanted to prove we are good enough to do this and we know it” moves. You know the move? No?

Yeah, me neither but it seemed like that’s what it was. And it worked. Every girl had their eyes on them and to be honest… so did I.

Now, determined not to be shown up in his own club (more or less), Maricio (my man crush from previous salsa updates) came out and grabbed one of the girls that was dancing with the national people. Now normally I would be patriotic – technically the people on the national team are from Ecuador while Maricio is from Colombia – but I take salsa lessons from the studio where Maricio works and I think he recognized me once.

Maricio hopped out there for the next song and was on top of it. It was incredible. His legs actually move faster than my eyes. Most mortals will do one move or throw in some flare between beats (Di) or try their hardest to figure out the beat (me), but Maricio was throwing in like six or seven. His legs looked like the wheel of a car going 60 mph. The national team had technique and basically a game plan that was executed perfectly. The national team was like Tim Duncan (He is not boring if you like basketball.). Maricio is like a younger Kobe Bryant – he has the technique and but he also has exceptional flare and is more entertaining.

So after Maricio was done and I picked my jaw up off the ground I mustered up enough courage (or were those mojitos?) to hop on the dance floor after him. If I am in the mood I don’t need many drinks to get out there. Earlier a Cuencana girl actually asked me to dance. That was a first for me. Normally I would think she had lost a bet but her self-described “friend” didn’t look too friendly when I was dancing with her. I would have described the dangers of the “friend zone” to him but he didn’t seem too interested in speaking with me.

My dance with Maria (the bold but disappointed girl) wasn’t a train wreck but it didn’t go well. I can kind of bullshit my way through a dance – spin here and there and shake here and there and spend very little time doing anything technical. The slow songs are my cue for the bathroom or the bar. This song wasn’t slow but this girl was good and I felt like an idiot pretty quickly, but a good laugh or smile anytime you screw up can get you out of a lot (and not just on the dance floor).

The salsa came and went. It’s not often I actually do the steps right but I can mix and match different stuff to get by. I suspect I will have to learn more if any other Cuencanas are to have any interest in me as a dance partner (not with Maricio on the same planet).

Later, American music came on. It wasn’t Lady Gaga but I could dance to it. Did I just admit to having danced to Lady Gaga? Geez. This sounds like my coming out blog post. Did I mention I am invited for soccer this week, watched football for four hours Sunday and I played golf on Saturday? Although I don’t know if the golf counts.

I was playing with, my friend, Rafaela’s father and her cousin. I had an 11 on the first hole and a twelve before I was done. We only played nine holes but you wouldn’t have known it by the scorecard. Won’t be expecting a call from Whisper Rock anytime soon. I’ll stick to salsa for now.

Cheeseburger in Rayradise

One of the things you have to get used to when living in South America is that the standards for service just aren’t very high. Some of the expensive places do feature good service, but on a day to day basis it’s not much to write home about. Until today.

Matt, Di, the kids and I went to this burger place we had heard about. No reviews. Just that it existed.

Ray’s American Burgers. I was excited because it happened to be located right next to my favorite ice cream shop in town (second only to Moo Time in Coronado, CA). A burger and an ice cream cone sounded like a wonderful start of an afternoon that featured hints of blue a blue sky, which has been MIA for the last two weeks. I don’t know how people do it in Seattle.

We took the bus into El Centro and only had to walk a block or two and the sign was easy enough to see from across the park and we headed to lunch. Walking in, I was interested to see a desk with cords and cables just running around in the corner of what was a small room. The walls were white and decorated with nothing except construction paper that had hand written Ecuadorian food items that were not to be found on the menu.

There was also a picture of a huge black guy eating a huge burger taped to construction paper. Not a lot of black guys in Ecuador. So the inside was really boring and what wan’t really boring was really random.

The room was maybe 14ft. by 14ft. and had 6 or so tables that he had ordered from the Crate & Trash Can catalog. We had five people and moved two tables together, but one could not seat four people.

Ray gave us an extra “new” menu that was a piece of paper that was identical to the crappy laminated ones we had in front of us.

The first menu item was not a burger and nor was the last so Ray’s American Burgers’ menu did not begin or end with burgers. Instead they were sandwiched in between a hot dog and a polish hotdog. The Polish hot dog in Ecuador was described “a New Jersey thing.” Oh and he’s from North Carolina. The first burger on the menu was called Hamburgers Ray’s Way. Now I didn’t order this particular item (came with ketchup, mayo, onions, and tomato) but I couldn’t understand why the name was plural. In addition to having poor grammar (yes, just like this blog), Ray’s burger was also the cheapest and most boring thing on the menu.

He (Ray) initially took the kids’ order then walked away and then came back and then took our order and then forgot the kids order and then came back for that. So after doing the “Ordering Lunch” version of the Hokey Pokey, he told us that his “help” had just stepped out but would be back in a few moments. He was half right. It didn’t take forever but it was 10 minutes before the cook showed up to make our food.

I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with a Fanta and a side of fries. Matt and Di got the sausages and the kids got regular hotdogs.

The food didn’t take too long (we were the only table) and came out at relatively the same time, which is rare in Ecuador. Di and I had ordered sides of fries. And our meals came with fries. I didn’t count them, but if I had, I wouldn’t have needed to take off my shoes. It was an embarrassingly small portion of fries. The kids’ hot dogs came cut in half and on a hamburger bun.

The entire time there had been Beatles music playing. I am in no way complaining about Beatles music being on when I am eating lunch. And I really didn’t care if it was a too loud. I like the music and I can talk to Matt and Di anytime. But it was coming from cheap little speakers that were connected to his laptop and was obviously just on the “Beatles” section on his iTunes. I wondered if we were going to find out what the next band was. Would we get some Bee Gees or maybe some Beyoncé?

So halfway through our meal he comes out and tells us that he is bringing out more fries, which I appreciated, but wasn’t sure why it took so long to relay that to the short-fried table.

The next set of fries were really hot and undercooked and spread out over a plate making a perfectly sizeable portion of fries look like small potatoes. (GET IT?!) It also came with very little ketchup and mayonnaise just on the side but amongst the fries. They could have just pushed the fries to one half of the plate and put the ketchup and mayo on the other side and it would have looked like more fries and have been much more aesthetically pleasing

Matt asked for a fork and ray came back with a bag of plastic sporks. After finally opening the bag on the wrong side (away from the stems), he said, “I’ll let you help yourselves,” and left Matt with the entire bag.

So now that I was finishing my burger, which really was fine (Not good. He didn’t take a temperature preference, but I have had worse.), I decided now would be a good time to get that Fanta I ordered. I asked him about it and he had forgotten my order but I didn’t care. He forgot Di’s too but that’s ok. I got my orange drink and they brought four cokes instead of one. Worse things have happened obviously. Whatever.

Ray asked us, passing by, if we liked the Beatles (still the only music playing), and we of course said yes and added our two cents and then Ray told us this great story that went, “One time, I sang karaoke, to Revolution.” Thinking he was about to start talking about band camp, we stared at him blankly and then realized the story was over. We more or less applauded and he went on his way.

I had some of the Fanta but Piper loves orange soda (who doesn’t?) and wanted it and I figured a full coke for a half empty (or half full) Fanta was a good trade. I thought I had smoked her in that deal until I tasted the coke and it was flatter than a Russian ballerina.

I got over it and we were ready for the bill and to go get some ice cream. After being overcharged by three dollars (which included the sodas we didn’t order), we got the bill back and the total seemed correct. The numbers for the individual items (all of which existed on the menu) were wrong but the bottom line is all that’s really important.

We left Ray’s American Burgers without being very impressed with him or his burgers. We hope he stops claiming to sell American food and representing gringos with that kind of service and experience. I feel bad harping, but the only things he had going for him were his proximity to ice cream and those four longhaired Brits.

Travel People

I’ve enjoyed living in the Andes, and in a city older than Peter O’Toole. I’ve enjoyed speaking Spanish and eating different parts of the animals than I am used to eating. But I think my favorite part thus far has been meeting different people.

It was hard at first. The language school I was studying at seemed like the tide after a storm when I was a kid. Like the tide would wash different things upon the shore, the school would usher in new students in each week.

The tide would wash up fun things to play with and shells that were interesting to listen to. Some things were kinda gross and some things I was happy to throw back into the ocean. The school brought some friends that I will keep in touch with. Brought some people I loved listening to and have learned from. Some accents I had never heard and some I couldn’t understand (I thought Irish people spoke English). Some people I was happy to let the tide take away (The French stereotype is true. It just is.). Some people were on interesting journeys and some people were on really interesting journeys. Some had been adrift for a while and some had just set sail.

Like every sandcastle I have ever built looked pretty similar, you end up having a lot of the same conversations. But like all my sandcastles were glorious and triumphant (I remember, clearly), all the conversations are wonderful as well. The questions are the same but the answers are different. People have simi

lar reasons but they come from different places within them.

This last weekend Matt and Di were still on the road. We had traveled north through Ecuador making our way to Quito (the capital) where I parted ways and came back to Cuenca (I need a solid week to prepare for my fantasy football draft)(Plus I was completely out of money… Ecuador is not THAT cheap). Matt and Di continued on their way to the jungle and the beach with the kids but before they left they sent me a little care package.

They talked to a couple for about 15 minutes in a hostel before they thought enough of them to lend out their apartment for a weekend. They gave the travelers my number and Matt texted me that a couple and their daughter (who they hadn’t met) were on the way. I didn’t have a clue and was mildly bummed I was losing my own apartment for a few days (Love those kids but some alone time at home was welcome). We exchanged two emails and a phone call before they showed up at the door.

Michael and Pilar are in their mid thirties and from the Orange County area. Michael had an impressive beard and a wit that kept me entertained the entire time. He lives out west but is from Chicago and retains the genuineness that has made me so found of the Midwest. He is a very smart IT guy and knew his stuff as we talked about technology and innovation and, of course, movies. He likes fixing bikes and cooking. He was a pleasure to be around because I could tell he was soaking in every moment of his experience. He is observant and curious and just enjoyed learning about a different place. He asked questions about what he saw – most of which I couldn’t answer. Some tour guide.

Pliar is a massage therapist and her free spirit was refreshing. We had an interesting conversation about the tattoos the couple was sporting. We talked about her experiences with how different people react to them and how her experiences getting them and why you should, shouldn’t, and which ones to look out for (No girls’ names!). It was actually the first time I had had a conversation about tattoos with someone who actually had them.

Pilar’s daughter, though, has to wait. Xylia, is 15 going on 25. When I was 15 I was counting down the days til I could drive, sleeping through biology, and discovering girls and booze (and the nice combo they made). Xylia likes politics and music. She really likes music. I know what I like and what I don’t but I can’t dissect baselines or compare bands’ albums from the 70’s. But this girl knows her stuff. And wasn’t condescending about it like some people who think they are holier than now because they listened to some obscure album and wikipediaed the bassist’s drug problems. Before she ever gets behind the wheel of a car, she will have been to Ecuador, Argentina, Peru, Chile and have backpacked in Patagonia. Not your average 15-year-old SoCal blond.

They arrived in Ecuador about the same time I did. They had spent the past three weeks living out in the country with an indigenous family. They slept on the dirt floor wrapped up in their sleeping bags and half their clothes.

They were pretty excited to be sleeping in beds but most of all to see a proper kitchen. These guys could cook. They made impeccable pizzas and breakfasts that would suit royalty. I’m so pathetic in the kitchen I can hardly tell you what we ate, let alone make it. It wasn’t macaroni and cheese. It wasn’t ramen. It wasn’t peanut butter and jelly. It wasn’t cereal. But there were eggs in there! I recognized those!

The first night we went out to La Cigale – now bartenders know me by name in two countries… ugh. We got to know each other and I was able to find out more about their previous travels and they were very interested in my experience in staying in one place.

Their original plan was to live in Argentina for a year instead of traveling. Having just come back from about 8 days on the road I was in a little better position to speak to the difference. Having Cuenca as a home was a much different experience. I have Cuencano friends. I have local places I like to eat and walk. I have a bed I call mine, and my own space when I need it. Being sick in South America is not fun. But being sick in a South American hostel is terrible (or in Xylia’s case, on a farm with a cozy dirt floor to retreat to). I have a bed, a shower, and a family that is there shall sickness strike me.

The next morning we went to the Cuenca vs. Ecuador futbol game. Not feeling quite so bold as to sit in the “General” seating, we got the expensive seats at $16 a pop. The beer was $2 a piece and my jersey was $5. I went to a major sporting event in town and spent a combined $25 dollars for a good ticket, a jersey and two beers (big guys too!). That might get you a parking spot within a mile of a Laker game where a jersey is another $80. The ticket would be $125ish and two beers would probably cost you $7.50 a piece. That’s about $245 for one person. I’ll take the soccer game.

The fans are better. The cheering is more fun. It’s an international game. And oh yeah… We won on a goal in the 87^th minute. GO CUENCA!!! So exciting.

Quito is the best team in the league. Screw them. We won.

After the game we took a walk up to La Iglesia de Turi. – maybe the best view of town. When we got home we played Rummy and ate pizza. The homemade dough was delicious.

The record books will tell you that Michael was the first to 500 pts., but I was the first to 300 pts. and we had originally agreed to play to 300 and after I just wasn’t as invested. The second part of the game didn’t count. And just because someone wrote something on piece of paper, doesn’t make it true. I know who won. That’s probably enough.

Unfortunately Michael, Pilar, and Xylia didn’t get very good weather while they were visiting. Their last day they just wanted to hang out. Pilar made it out to explore but a couple raindrops were enough to put me down for a nap.

We went back to La Cigale that night and we brought the cards. They say you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure. I like going to La Cigale and having fun but when I play cards, I am all business. This combo didn’t bring me any good karma and I got my butt kicked. Add one to the loss column but let there be an asterisk to let people know the circumstances. In 1945 St. Louis Browns’ outfielder, Peter Gray, batted just .218 but he was at a slight disadvantage… he only had ONE ARM. That is something people should know when evaluating his performance. This is kinda like that.

Michael, Pilar, and Xylia are moving to Portland when they return to the states. Portland is on my very short list of cities I will ideally end up in, so I am confident I will meet them again back home. Though hopefully before that, down on the new farm, where they are staying, about six hours south of Cuenca. They’ll head to Peru next month.

For only spending about 15 minutes with two of them, Matt and Di knew what I found to be true: traveling is a web of places, languages, buildings, mountains, religions, foods beaches, climates, and cultures, but it’s the people you meet in between, that connect everything and create the experiences you take with you through your life.

I won’t ever forget the people that have crossed my path throughout my time here and if and when the tide brings them back upon my shore, the will be cards ready.

Go Cats Go!!! From Ecuador!!!

Phones and Futbol

I have this really crappy phone. First of all, it has buttons – yuck. The screen is as colorful as Cleveland in January. There is no volume thingy on the side and you have to customize a “profile setting” to turn it to, what we of the 21st century call, vibrate.

But you know what? I am not a shallow guy. Its not sexy, but I’m not judging it on its looks. I don’t care if it’s a little too skinny or if it only thinks in black or white. I don’t care if it has to sleep and recharge every couple of hours. Who doesn’t like naps? I don’t care if it is old and hasn’t embraced the age of the Internet. I really don’t. It knows two languages, which is more than I can say for myself. And on the icon bar on top, there is a little heart. I don’t know why its there, but it’s reassuring.

What I really can’t stand about this damn phone, is that IT ONLY HOLDS EIGHT TEXT MESSAGES!!!

Not eight in my inbox and eight my outbox and eight my draftbox – eight TOTAL!

I have had “unlimited” checked on my plan since the seventh grade. I’ll send 8 texts before I hit the snooze button in the morning. Now granted there are only about five people I text in this country but still, it is a pain in my ass every single day.

Sorry. Had to get that out… anyway.

My friend Rafaela invited me to play soccer with her family. I haven’t been very active since I’ve been here (hiking is far away and requires a car and the massive blister on my toe kept me out of basketball for a bit… lame excuse but its all I’ve got.) so I jumped at the opportunity.

She said we were going to play with her family – a group of men and woman and girls and boys ranging from 8 to 35ish. I figured at 22 I’ll be more athletic than the old people (I mean less young people) and the young kids and then just try to be on the same team of anyone who looked in their twenties.

I listened to a soccer podcast last week AND, at lunch the other day, I saw Lionel Messi score a goal on TV. I know exactly what I am doing.

So the teams ended up getting divided pretty evenly (darn). Pedro is 24 and immediately stood out as a good player. He was on my team. Carlos, 35ish and father to one to the cutest kids of all time, and Ismail (probably 20 and athletic) were on the other team. Rafaela was the best girl and she was on the other team as well.

The little kids were divided up and while they were small, they had still grown up in South America and knew what they were doing with a soccer ball.

The game started and I got the first pass near the left sideline. One girl was streaking down the right side and passed it over to her. Too strong. Whoops. Two seconds into the game and I’ve got my first turnover.

These fields are smaller and surrounded by a fence. The sidelines are in play but the endlines are out so you can play it into the fence and basically pass it to yourself (Love it!), otherwise there are corner kicks.

I originally thought I was going to score every single goal against all these midgets but I found myself more comfortable passing and setting other people up. I was able to create a little space because one of the other team’s faster guys (Carlos) was playing goalie (as was Pedro). The little kids could play but their legs are half as long as mine, so a little sprint could give me some time to get a pass off.

These kids love soccer so they know right where to go (or at least right where I think they should go). It was awesome. Martin is 8 and is a natural scorer. Always in the right spot (what I think is the right spot) and puts everything in the goal. Glad he was on my team.

About two minutes and maybe eight sprints in, the heavy breathing starts – uh oh. Hands are on my head. BREATHE!

The first thing to go was the defense. Instead of being all high energy and making sure I was getting in passing lanes and going after the ball if it was near me, I started walking and lightly trotting to what I thought might be a good place but near where I wanted to be for an outlet pass. After all, the clock on my lungs was ticking and it’s way cooler to score goals (or make sweet passes!).

Pedro really did have our goal on lockdown and if they were near actually scoring I could help, ya know, a little.

Rafaela’s shins had this issue of being right where my foot was whenever we went after the ball. My foot was obviously there first (twice). I am all for whichever amendment lets men and women play on the same soccer field but they’ve gotta know that I’m going to mindlessly kick the ball which zero regard as to whoever’s shins or feelings are in the way. If you play with fire you’re going to get burned, or in this case, bruises. (Sorry, Rafa!)

The second wind had come and gone. We were probably at the 35-minute mark and I had to sit down. I drank some water and chilled out for a minute or two while the game was going on. I totally abandoned ship. Not proud, but I was about to die on the field.

So I finally get a little air back in my lungs and get back out on the pitch. Now the goalie from the other team (Carlos) had come out of the goal and was was trying to score. Pedro’s girlfriend (tiny, but really nice and can play soccer) stole the ball and passed it to me and I was able to break away for a goal and make Carlos think twice before leaving again. It may have been slightly cheap given I was sitting on the sideline when he left the goal but I really just evened out the teams again when I returned.

So after my glorious open net goal, I was breathing hard again. After a steal, some inconsiderate girl kicked the ball to me and I ran with it down the sideline and overshot the millionth pass of the night (RUN FASTER!).

Now I’m on the ground. I am so tired and sucking so much air I can hardly speak. I make my way back to my water bottle and had probably never had to work so hard to get air into my lungs. I used to have asthma when I was young and, when I was born, my lungs didn’t work and I needed a respirator – but I think last night trumped all of that. I started using the pregnant lady, “HE HE WHOO,” technique. Actually worked!

So after being in labor for a few minutes, I could breathe normally again. Couldn’t think or speak Spanish, but I could breathe.

I hopped back on the field and Pedro had just stopped a goal and took the ball out himself. He ran down the field dancing and moving around everyone in his way. Dude, could handle a ball. It was impressive. I finally caught up to him and he sent me a perfect pass which I promptly kicked straight up into the cross bar. Good work.

By the time I got my hands off my knees, Pedro was already back in our goal and little Martin (switched teams) was streaking down the right side with the ball. I had just missed an easy goal and wanted the ball back. I ran after the little kid and I swear I was going for the ball but all of his 60 lbs. got in the way and I took him down a fell on top of him. Whoops.

Not only am I missing open shots and searching for my 6th wind on the bench, now I am taking out their kids. Good pick. Martin is a tough kid and got right up and was back in the game.

The game was over not long after. We weren’t really keeping score or I was too tired to understand what it was. We all sat around a table and shared a few beers.

It wasn’t until then I noticed that Pedro was wearing a sweatshirt I recognized. He turned away and I figured it couldn’t be possible but then, when he stood up, I saw the sweatshirt he was wearing said Montana State University! (I have been a Bobcat for the last three years) I was so happy and we took a picture (coming when my phone starts working). His (and Rafaela’s) cousin goes there. I was also wearing MSU shorts at the time so the Cats were well represented. Didn’t see any Grizzly gear, though I didn’t check the trash.

An hour later when I got home I was still breathing hard. I went right to bed. I was invited back for the same game next week and to play with Carlos in a weekly game he has with just guys. Next week, I think I’ll bring an oxygen tank for me and some shin guards for Rafaela.